Letter: Same-Sex Marriage Debate Isn't Over

Dear Editor, 

In June the US Supreme Court ruled married same-sex couples were entitled to federal benefits. However, in a case out of California, on technical grounds, the Court declined to decide if same-sex couples had a constitutional right to marry.  Neither ruling bars same-sex couples from marrying in states that permit such marriages, nor do the rulings lift bans on same-sex marriage in other states.  

You can see this clearly with the abortion issue. The abortion debate has devolved into what is best for the mother or “father”. Birth is not about the adults, but the life of a new child. In the case of abortion the mother and father walk out; the child is killed. If children made the laws, it is safe to say abortion would be illegal. 

Looking at the same-sex marriage issue, we don’t have to look far to see what happens when society gets careless about the togetherness of parents and their raising of children. Just look at the divorce craze that began in the 1970’s. So called sociological experts of the “me” generation said if you aren’t happily married, leave your spouse, and all will be better off. As the trend unfolded, marriage was further trivialized with the onset of terms like the “starter marriage”.  

Likewise, those advocating gay-marriage, it is all about them – the adults. The children are secondary. Just look at the recent Supreme Court case. It dealt with gay couples having a claim to their partner’s federal benefits. When the focus of marriage turns to the adults and adult issues, and it is no longer about the children, the children suffer. 

I’m not saying anyone should remain in a marriage if one spouse is abusive or is cheating. Nor am I saying single parents families are a bad thing. For most of my childhood, I was brought up by a single mom. One parent is better than no parents, but I know first hand two parents are better for the child and his/ her development.

Gay advocates will say, but Janie has two loving mommies. I guess that is better than no loving mommies, but I would argue every child has a mother and a father. In turn the need for a mother and father, and being cared for by them is ingrained in our nature. Same-sex marriage and the families they create fall short here because children born from a donated sperm or egg are deprived of someone from whom they were originated, so the need to know both parents, be with them, and develop under their guidance is not met. Like the divorce craze, years from now we’ll realize the ills of same-sex marriages, in particular, the adverse effect on the children of same-sex couples.

Alex Saitta

Pickens