Parenting Place Offers Fathers 2 Dads Program

“Whatever path that the father chooses, the children are going to follow,” said Joey Medoro, Fatherhood Specialist at The Parenting Place.

He knows firsthand the importance of a father being in the lives of his children.

“I grew up without a positive male role model in my life,” Medoro said. “I took the path of destruction – got into gangs and drugs and crime and all that. I kind of had to learn on my own.”

He recently spoke with Patch about his Father2Dads program.

“I work with one-on-one with fathers, any father,” he said. “God put in my heart to help other fathers that don't have that support.”

The program is free and open to any father “who wants to learn how to be a great dad,” Medoro said.

“I try to teach them about to be self-sufficient,” he said.

In his program, he lets fathers know “that they do matter.”

“They're important, they're not just there to bring home the paycheck,” Medoro said.

He provides them with the resources and contact information for the services that they need.

He recently conducted a workshop focusing on “Fathers as Protectors of Children.”

“Pickens County ranks Number One in the state in child neglect reports,” Medoro said. “We rank Number Five in the state for child sexual abuse, which to me is pretty sad.”

The Parenting Place is working on getting the world out about how to recognize sexual abuse and abuse in general.

Poverty plays a role in the abuse statistics

“Parents, when they know they can't provide for their families, they get stressed,” Medoro said. “Especially the dad, he feels like he's supposed to be the financial supporter of the family, so if he can't find a job, he turns to other things, takes it out on the wife and kids, and just causes a more difficult situation in the home.”

According to Pickens County Department of Social Service statistics, 21.3 of the county's children live in poverty.

“28 percent of all births in Pickens County were born to moms between the ages of 15 and 19,” Medoro said. “There's something we need to do about that number. More than likely the dad is between those ages also. Here you have two children, having a child, who don't know anything about parenting. That leads to a whole load of services needed down the road for that family.”

Medoro shared some national statistics as well.

“70 percent of all juveniles in state operated institutions come from homes where's no positive male role model,” he said. “85 percent of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. 71 of all high school dropouts come from homes without fathers. 63 percent of our youth who commit suicide come from homes where there's no father or positive role model in the home.”

His program helps fathers learn to have those important conversations with their kids.

“As fathers, how do we educate our children about drugs and smoking?” Medoro asked. “How do we talk to them about sex and predators, gangs, pornography, abuse both physical and sexual? I try to teach dads – yes, it's both parents' responsibility, but dads have to take the reins and not be afraid to talk about these things to their children and not sugarcoat it. They need to be real with their children about drugs and smoking, pornography, predators, gangs.

“A lot of fathers, they either don't know how to approach their children about talking about these topics with them or they don't do it at all,” Medoro said. “So, children, they learn from their peers. They learn from the streets. I try to tell fathers to not be afraid to talk about these things when the time comes. The earlier a child learns about these things, then the more aware they're going to be to stay away from those kind of people, or stay away from friends that are doing these kind of things. The sooner, the better.”

You can't be a passive dad, Medoro said.

“It's about being there for your children,” he said. “Anybody can go out and father a child – that doesn't mean you're a dad.”

Having an engaged father is shown to decrease economic disadvantage, Medoro said

Children of involved fathers are more likely to be emotionally secure, more securely attached to their caregivers, more comfortable about exploring their environment, more easily comforted after a brief separation from their parent and more socially connected to their peers, he said.

“They're going to have more self-esteem, they're going to be more confident, they're going to be more encouraged, they're going to be valued,” Medoro said. “It takes a lot of that negative behavior right out of the picture because there is the father in the home that's engaged with the children.”

Children who have a father in the household are more likely to finish high school, attend college and find and keep a steady job.

Toddlers of involved fathers are more prepared to attend school and handle the stresses that come with it.

“Highly involved fathers have children who are 33 percent less likely to repeat a grade and 43 percent more likely to earn mostly 'A' grades,” Medoro said.

Programs and services tend to focus on the mother and the children in the home, he said.

“The dad is always kind of left aside, but the statistics are the proof that having the father involved positively in the lives of their children, what great benefits come out of that,” Medoro said.

It's important for fathers to be good role models for their children, to set them on the right path.

“What they see is what they're going to become,” Medoro said. “As a father, we need to provide security, love and support to our family. We need to encourage our children. There are so many children that don't get any encouragement at home – everything's negative. We need to build our children up.”

For more information about the Fathers 2 Dads program, call The Parenting Place at (864) 898-5583 or visit their website at http://www.theparentingplacepca.org.